so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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