doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize