No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
