note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Farmville is her only friend.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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