I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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