The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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