fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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