I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize