I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
