Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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