Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
