im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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