When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
