Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
