I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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