I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
