That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
