its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
