Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Someone signed my nipple.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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