Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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