Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
this will be a night to untag.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
