If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
