she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
