ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
