i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
