apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
