our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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