Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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