Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
babies were throwing up all over the place
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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