She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
