I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
