Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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