that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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