I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
