I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She bit a glass in half.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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