Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry polimcdego26 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet

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(813): View more from Florida

Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.

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(404): View more from Georgia

i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.

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(410): View more from Maryland

He asked if I wanted to "hang out"

(410): View more from Maryland

A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock

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(360): View more from Washington

Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate

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(912): View more from Georgia

I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins

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