i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
