the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
