I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
