i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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