question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
