Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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