Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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