remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
