remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
