They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
