were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Two words: blizzard sex
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
