So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
