i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
