I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
