Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
