my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm like, not good at living.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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