She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
What a dumb baby whore.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
