their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
