ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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