am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I faked an abortion last night.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
