that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize