I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you would pick up someone in the library
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
