dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
