Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
