that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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