I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
