Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
